ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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