Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
