We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
