i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize