Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
is it fun? or sober?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
