I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
