i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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