Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
