I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
