He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
