Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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