im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
