Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
