I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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