1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
