Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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