i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
