I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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