Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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