Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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