my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
