Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
