someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
