my room smells like sperm. sweet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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