I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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