butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
