shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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