come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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