is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
