If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
