I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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