no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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