DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
