Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
