dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize