Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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