Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
