Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
