Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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