Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
