I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
