I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
