she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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