Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
