Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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