That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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