My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
