The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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