He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Randomize
