Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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