You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
