I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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