you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
