Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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