If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
