my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
sex in a hospital.. check
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize