she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize